DonAithnen (donaithnen) wrote,

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I went clubbing again, and it kind of sucked as usual.

Short hair may make me more attractive (if you believe Allyn at least, which is a reasonable thing to do,) however it is apparently not enough so as to actually get me noticed by anyone.

The girl who dances really prettily and sexily was there again, with the same guy as usual. At one point i think i saw her give him a kiss on the check. There's really no point in trying to get to know her better i guess. There were lots of other cute girls as well, none of whom looked twice in my direction. Oh, one girl asked me if i had the time, but i didn't have my watch on, so i said no, and she moved on to ask someone else.

It would be nice to think that at least some of the girls there are single, and that out of those, at least one of them would find me attractive. When you look at the actual numbers though, the odds aren't that good.

At times i wonder if i should really even bother looking for attractive single women at clubs, a part of me says that i'm not likely to meet the type of girl i would like there. Of coruse the obvious foil to that is that i'm looking for someone kind of like myself, and _i'm_ there. Of course that doesn't mean that the odds are good, just that they're not impossible.

I also wonder if there is any point to changing stuff about me. If they don't like me just because my hair is long and i'm wearing glasses and i'm a little overweight, that's their problem, right? Would i really be interested in that type of person if they would only like me if i got my hair cut and got contacts and lost some weight?

It seems reasonable to do those things for someone that you're already involved with, if they've already shown that they love you the way they are, there's nothing wrong with doing stuff to make yourself more attractive to them.

I kind of want to apply the same argument to the "women want guys to be aggressive" thing that everyone keeps telling me. If they're not willing to make the effort to get to know my without me always going to them, are they really worth getting involved with?

Of course all of these might just be ways of rationalizing not doing anything about my current situation.

I wish i knew places to go to interact socially with people like me. None of the people i've dated goes to clubs very often on their own, so if i met someone at one, it would most likely be someone fairly different from those people. Of course that might be a good thing.

But still, i wish there was someplace i could go like the place that i got to know Morna.

Oh, i finally got up the courage to send a message to someone on the personals site. Of course i was unable to find someone interested in anime or science fiction or RPGs or anything like that, so i settled for someone who lives nearby and sounds interesting. She never replied of course. I don't know if my picture was ugly or my profiles was boring or my message was uninteresting.

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