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04 May 2007 @ 10:03 pm

For SoCal people

I've been told that asking other people if they feel like doing anything over the weekend gives those people the impression that i want them to figure out something to do. That seems kind of silly to me since how can you figure out what to do until you figure out who wants to hang out? But since i can't control what other people think...

Anyone want to come over and hang out at my place saturday or sunday? (Or tonight i suppose if anyone's feeling really gung-ho and wants to be up late.) I've got Guitar Hero and i've got Karaoke Revolution and i've got lots of DVDs and i've got lots of books. Do i actually have to specify a specific thing to do? That seems rather limiting.

Oh yeah, and is there anyone else interested in seeing Spider-Man 3?

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jmpava on May 5th, 2007 05:11 am (UTC)

You don't need to suggest every possibility or even what to do. Sometimes just picking a time or place or specific day is sufficient. Its just that when you say 'I want to hang out in the near future', it's easy to want to, but forget because there's no specifics to work from. A lot of time I just go 'hey, does anyone want to get some food Saturday night' - I'm not necessarily determining where we're eating, but that we ARE getting together then, and then we can figure stuff out from there. But that's a big difference then 'lets hang out sometime'.

I dunno, that make any sense?

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dieppe on May 5th, 2007 08:23 am (UTC)

I saw Spider-Man 3 tonight!!!! WEEEE! :)

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porfinn on May 5th, 2007 02:56 pm (UTC)

It has been my experience that not having a plan, even a simple one, to coax others with can make friends feel tense. Most people like having choices available, that doesn't mean they enjoy choosing. I am always stunned how much bewilderment just asking if someone wants a large or a small coffee can cause. Usually offering one or two simple choices makes most people feel more comfortable. The way I see it, it is like using the phone. If you call someone you are obliged to have something to say or a reason for calling. If you just call someone and say, "hello" that puts a great deal of pressure on the person who answered the phone to cough up conversation. I think that is what people are grumbling about: feeling pressured to not only do something, but to come up with something to do.
But, yes, I would like to see Spiderman, but I'm not sure if I can this weekend. Too much to do. The only time I could make it would be Saturday night or Sunday afternoon (see, by specifingy a specific activity, I can respond). It looks like it is going to be lots of fun. If you go have a great time.

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marvinalone on May 5th, 2007 05:35 pm (UTC)

I can't find the quote, but somebody famous said that paradoxically, the more we agonize over our choices, the less difference between them there has to be.

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sithjawa on May 6th, 2007 05:32 am (UTC)

But how can I know whether I feel like doing something if I don't know what it is? ;)

(Except for lately, where I'm so busy I'm not getting half the things done that I'm supposed to ON THE WEEKENDS. SHeesh, weekends aren't supposed to involve stuff you're supposed to get done! :)

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