"I am by far the oldest proctor in the entire Vigil. If I'm not approaching a state of Zen by now, there must be something wrong with me. Do you understand? In the normal life cycle of proctors, I'm at a point where I should be One with the universe. Or at most 1.0001. I should by asymptotic to apotheosis"
The number three reason why i don't write as much as i'd like is that i know that even if i came up with a good idea to write about i could never actually write as well as James Alan Gardner and his ilk.
James Alan Gardner's forte is writing incredibly funny "dialogue" (whether spoken outloud or a character thinking to themself) that is always apropos no matter what else is going on at the time. Things may have goen to hell in a hand basket and they're all facing iminent death, but some character will make a quip that seems totally in place. Or maybe i just feel that way because i prefer the same kind of humor myself and would say the same kinds of things if i could think of them :)
""Stick or bag?"
"When I was a dewy-eyed novice," he said, "my mentors took the direct approach in helping me deal with my fears. Whenever I hesitated to use my link-seed, they either hit me with a stick or put a bag over my head. I hated the bag most, so that's what they usually used." He sighed dramatically. "Such barbaric days -- I swore I'd be more enlightened. By which I mean I'm giving you the choice. Stick or bag?""