DonAithnen (donaithnen) wrote,

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Why yes, i _am_ paranoid

Or perhaps rather it's that i'm superstitious, since the last time i was moving into this office i got unexpectedly laid off.

On tuesday we had a tour of the building scheduled for 1:45. One of my coworkers randomly happened to offer to give me a ride, even though i don't think he knew i didn't have a car at the time, so that was good. What wasn't so good was that he hadn't studied the directions very closely, and i hadn't had a chance to check them since he was leaving already and i didn't want to delay him. We both had a general idea where it was, and we spent five or so minutes wandering side streets until we managed to find it.

We got handed crappy photocopied maps of the first floor, and spent awhile wandering around. Some of the office doors had pieces of paper taped to them, with the names of whoever had that office. I noticed that some of the larger offices, about half of them, had two people listed in them. There were no cubicles, so it's true that everyone gets an office, but not the implied everyone gets their own office.

I wander through the building along with everyone else, but i can't find my name. However a lot of the offices don't have sheets up yet. The Operations guy (or whatever his exact title is, he's kind of a vice producer or soemthing, but for the entire office) is going around taping more sheets up. However once he's done, i wander through again, and still can't find my name, and start getting vaguely paranoid worries. Seems like a crappy way to tell someone they've been laid off, and even if they were going to lay people off they wouldn't do it for another two months or so anyways.

I go and check out the second floor, not expecting to see anything there, and as expected none of the offices there have names on them. Then someone gets on the intercom and says we're having the meeting in the confrence room. So i head back downstairs, and run into the Operations guy on his own way there, and he says he forgot to put my name up before, and i'm in 105.

First, having been forgotten makes me feel a bit uneasy, after all, why did _i_ get forgotten? And furthermore, as best as i could remember, 105 already had two people assigned to it.

So i spent the whole meeting being kind of anxious, and when it was done they took us around for a tour of the whole building. We started out on the first floor of course, and when we got around to 105 i found that it indeed already had the names of two other programmers on the sheet next to it.

We continued around on the tour, looked through the second floor, and got taken up to the third floor which is completly unfinished except for the server room in the center. After the tour finished i went back down to my future office.

On the plus side, i wasn't a unique case, although close to it. There are two offices, at least on the first floor, that have three people in them. There are about five offices with two people in them, and about ten with one person them. In both of the three person offices they forgot to put one person on the sheet of paper. I feel a little bit better not being the only one in the situation, but it's still pretty close, and i wonder why they forgot us.

Also on the plus side, the two programmers i'm sharing with are pretty cool. Most of the programmers here are pretty cool actually, there are only three that i wouldn't really want to share an office with, and two of them are bosses (one of the reasons i wouldn't want to share with them,) so i don't have to worry about them. The third is incredibly annoying, at least as a coworker, but he's a senior programmer, so i don't need to worry about him too much either.

On the minus side, the two i'm sharing with may already have been annoyed that they were the only two programmers who had to share an office, and then i came along and reduced their already cramped area by a third. I'm sure that intelectually they don't blame me, but i'd be suprised if emotionaly, subconsciously or consciously, they don't resent me a little. I of course feel guilty and out of place becuse of the same irrational feeling that i elbowed in on them after things were already established. It certainly doesn't help that currently those two have desks next to each other in the unofficial programmer area, while i'm over in an artist area with one other programmer.

I had kind of mixed feelings about moving into an office anyway. If i had an office on my own i'd have a little bit more privacy, and more imporantly i'd be able to play music instead of having to use my headphones all the time. However i'd also be even more isolated than i already am. Nobody actually initiates conversations with me except for work related reasons at the moment anyways, but at least once in awhile a feel brave enough to try and join in on an interesting conversation i hear.

So with this new situation, i'll actually have less privacy than i do now, as will they. The desks will be going around the room facing the walls, so we'll all be able to look over out shoulders and see what the other people are doing, which is a little unnerving. I was kind of happy with the setup here because when i left Westwood it was that same kind of situation that i was leaving and in replacement got a desk in the corner of the area, facing out towards the center of the room.

When we were choosing who would sit where in the room, one of them pointed out that the person in the front right corner would have the same problem even more so, because people walking by the office could look in and see them. We dithered about choosing the spots. No one apparently wanted to go first. There was a front left spot and front right spot next to the window, however the window looks out into a alley with another office building across from us, with some grass or woodchips or something (i forget exactly what, but not asphalt) and a small stunted three foot tall tree and several air conditioning units and electirical things and other generally unatractive hardware. Looking out on a parking lot would be more interesting. So it wasn't that much of a punishment, and maybe a benefit, that the third person would be in the back left corner facing away from the window.

I'm good at not deciding things in general, and specifically in this case because i already felt like i was intruding. I had a preference for the front left corner, by the window but away from the door, but i wanted them to get whatever spots they wanted so they would have one less reason to resent me. One of them finally picked the front left corner and left it to me and the other one to decide the rest, so i was a little disapointed, but not too much. I didn't really want to end up by the door, but i dodn't want to say so either. The person who was still deciding was the one who had pointed out the disadvantage of the door, so i figured i would be stuck with that spot. I'd just about convinced myself that having the window view would be a good thing when he strangely decided to take that spot. I don't know why, i don't think that i projected my desire that obviously, but i don't really know. In any case, i've got the back left corner, no window, but as far from the view of the door as you can get.

The only real plus i can see to the situation is that at least i'll be included in conversations, even if only accidentaly. And maybe since i'm in an office with two more popular people, maybe i'll also get accidentaly invited to lunch some too.

I could try doing the free candy trick that Peter used to do at Westwood, but that would probably work better if i had my own office.
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