"But Fein and Schneider say they do believe it is up to a man to pursue a woman, and that women who break The Rules -- by being too forward, too available and too honest -- invariably end up getting dumped, and getting hurt."
""The fallout is greater. ... Men will e-mail 25 girls in a night, so if you do get a guy who answers your ad, seems to like you, and you go on a date and never hear from him again, just chalk it up to experience."
Or perhaps they should chalk it up to the fact that they're "playing hard to get" and therefore only resonding to people who send _them_ messages, which would tend to result in a high percentage of men who are emailing as many people as possible in an attempt to score!
If they want to meet someone who they'll have long term potential with then they should go out and look for people who seem to fit those criteria as best as they can judge!
This is especially true when you consider that about half of the women on personals sites have really sparse descriptions in their ads. If no one can tell much about what type of person you are, pretty much the _only_ think you're going to get is the trawlers! I at least took the time to try and do a fairly descriptive ad. Maybe if you took a look at it you might decide that you're interested in at least sending me a message!
Of course not everyone who sends out messages to lots of people is in it just for the sex. Although i certainly wouldn't necessarily turn down an offer of just sex, i'm mostly looking for a long term relationship. However whenever i do decide to go through the personals sites i'll usually answer ten or fifteen ads at a time, not because i'm hoping for ten offers of sex, but because i know that i need to send out that many messages to have even a slight hope of just one of those people responding!
I don't know if it's cause the women are playing so hard to get, or cause i'm just plain undersireable, but in either case the women certainly don't need _more_ encouragement to be reclusive!
I am just totally unable to get beyond the disparity between what these people say the problems of the readers are, and the actual results of the advice that they suggest as a solution to the problem.