I wrote the rest of this post down on Friday and meant to post it this week. But then i checked YouTube today and discovered that the new season of Epic Rap Battles of History just started, and the first video is George R R Martin vs J R R Tolkien. And it is awesome. Enjoy!
If you remembered to come back from the video, this is my interpretation of the Middle-Earth creation mythos:
Eru, to the other gods: "Despite some initial unpleasantness we've got the world mostly worked out now and filled with plants and beasts, so we should get down to the important stuff, the sentient races. Since I'm the firstest and bestest of the gods i shall create the Elves, and they shall be the Firstborn."
( Not-Quite-HistoryCollapse )
Eru: ARRAAARRRAAAGHHHHHHH!!!!!! *retroactively smites Tom Bombadil from existence
And that children is why Tom Bombadil did not appear in the Lord of the Rings movies.
1: The bit about the Dwarves and the Elves seems to be generally accurate. Information about the nature and origin of Ents is vauge, the information about the Eagles is even vaguer, and the information about Tom Bombadil is vaguest.
2: Ainu, whatever.
3: "Years of the Lamps" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Arda#Years_of_the_Lamps)
4: I'm sure steuard will correct me on all the whatevers.