DonAithnen (donaithnen) wrote,

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Legends of Tomorrow (Rant)

We've been watching Legends of Tomorrow, the spin-off of The Flash that is a spin-off of Arrow.

(We also watch The Flash. Avalyn also watches Arrow.)

Like a lot of superhero shows/movies these days it doesn't take itself very seriously and is kind of dumb at points. And just like Mr. "oh my god if he actually did any of that stuff it would break ALL THE THINGS" Flash, if you can turn your brain mostly off it's a fun show.

But there is one little thing that is making that "turn your brain off" bit VERY hard for me.

Major spoilers up through last week's episode of Legends of Tomorrow!

Spoilery Rant Below Here!

So for anyone who hasn't seen the show and doesn't care about spoilers, there's a bad guy, Vandal Savage, who is immortal. He's magically linked with two other characters who reincarnate, and every time they die he gets stronger (in some way that isn't really specified.)

They thought they killed him once in an earlier crossover episode, they even reduced him to (mostly?) ashes. And then they just walked out of the building leaving the ashes/charred bits behind. At the time i was yelling at the screen "at least collect the damn remains and seal them away! He'd probably still come back anyways, because comics, but this way you're just asking for trouble!"

So shocker, he came back to life somehow. And then in the future he takes over the world. Well, more destroys than takes over, but whatever.

So then a Time Lord (or whatever they're called) begs the Time Council (cause they have one of those in Tomorrow-land) to go back in Time and stop Savage. But the Time Council is a dick to the World and Time, because Prime Directive and stuff, cause otherwise we wouldn't have a show.

So renegade Time Lord goes back a couple hundred years to recruit/kidnap a bunch of second-string heroes and villains and then goes back a couple more decades to try and stop Savage. (While of course being pursued by the Time Council's Time Cops. Or more accurately Time Assassins.)

So eventually they discover the reason Savage came back the "first" time was because they just killed him with random fire or something, instead of the special dagger than was used to make him immortal in the first place.

Then they retrieve the special dagger and stab him with it, but he comes back to life/fails to die because it turns out that one of the two reincarnating people he's linked with needs to stab him with the special dagger. (I will not be at all surprised if we go through this a couple more times, until we're at the point of "you fool, the person who is linked to my immortality needs to stab me with the dagger linked to my immortality on the anniversary of me not-dying, while wearing the special ceremonial robes we wore back then, while standing on their head as i happened to be doing earlier on the day i didn't die, and also humming the particular song i had stuck in my head at the time." (And also, why is he telling them what they need to do to kill him?))

BUT ANYWAYS, to the best of my knowledge they now have that special dagger, and did i mention that the special person is one of the second-string heroes that was recruited? (Because of course, it makes sense for Time Cop to have recruited her both from an internal logical perspective and an external story/drama perspective.) So they've got everything they need to kill this guy for good (as far as they know) in the same place.

They have encountered the guy two or three times since then. AND DONE NOTHING!

One time they had him knocked out cold, and left him lying there while they ran away! Another time they had him at gunpoint and then just backed away slowly! And i may be forgetting some other circumstance where they had him at least more or less at their mercy and just turned around and left.


1: Special girl ought to be carrying the special dagger ALL THE TIME! Sure, equip her with one of those wallet chains or something so she doesn't accidentally drop it or get it pick pocketed or something, but if your goal is _not_ to get her to stab the guy with the dagger at the first possible opportunity then what the hell IS your plan?

2: You don't need to keep him alive for any reason! Your problem is that you _want_ to kill him but he won't stay dead! So there is ZERO reason not to just shoot him whenever you have the chance! (I anticipate the argument "but then they'd have to find him again when he reincarnated! To which i say A: the only time we've actually witnessed him come back he didn't reincarnate, he almost instantly regenerated form a supposedly fatal wound, and B: the issue is he's trying to take over the world, it's not going to be that hard to track him down again anyways, especially given that they're in a time machine.)

3: If you have him under your control, either because he's unconscious or you just shot him and he's temporarily dead, don't just leave him lying there! Take him with you! Tie him up if necessary (or see #5) and when you get back to the ship either have special girl stab him with the special dagger immediately, or wait until he becomes un-dead and _then_ stab him!

4: If for some reason you can't stab him immediately, encase him up to the neck in concrete! Or lead! Or something! It won't kill him, but to quote Eddie Izzard, "that’s gonna slow him down a bit, surely."

5: Speaking of which, if you ignored #1 and don't have the dagger, and no concrete or liquid metal is handy, and you really think you can't carry him out of wherever you are for some reason, grab a chainsaw or any other reasonably sharp implement and cut off his arms and legs! Maybe they'll regenerate, maybe they won't, but it certainly won't hurt your future chances and it certainly might help!

6: Or alternately just cut off his head. That would be a lot more portable! That _does_ raise some questions, such as would his head grow a new body? Or his body grow a new head? Or would he actually "die" and reincarnate in some other manner? But hey, it's worth trying at least!

*pant, pant, sigh*

Okay, done ranting now

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