?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
22 November 2001 @ 01:25 pm
Wednesday  
Morna had told me tuesday night that she didn't start work the next dall till 3, and said that she might call me and we could do something together.

I got up at about 10 or 11 i think, and never got a call from Morna =(

Shawkial invited Kialyn over for dinner, or actually to make and have dinner =) Shawkial and Gwri needed to go get ingredients at the store so i went to pick Kialyn up.

Kialyn and Shawkial made most of the dinner, while i was the Useless Sous Chef =) Gwri just relaxed on the couch the whole time =)

While Shawkial and Kialyn were preparing stuff i put some of the clutter on the counters away, wiped down the counter, cleaned the dishes, grated some parmesan cheese, and stired the alfredo sauce. It's so fun to be doing stuff in the kitchen when i get to be doing it with Kialyn =)

After dinner Gwri and i cleaned the rest of the dishes, and then we all watched the rest of the first Utena DVD and finished about 10.

Yesterday was about as close to a thanksgiving dinner as i'm going to get. Shawkial and Gwri are going off ot visit Shawkial's family, Morna and Bricriu are going off to visit Bricriu's family, Kialyn is going off to visit her family. I get to stay at the apartment and take care of the cats.

Apparently Kialyn told Morna and Bricriu something about needing to think about her relationship with them. I have really mixed feelings about that. I don't want Morna to be unhappy or hurt, but if their relationship did end or change, then Kialyn might decide to become lovers with me. I haven't talked to Kialyn too much about how things are going with them, or rather i ask about it, but don't offer any advice. I do my best to think of things in light of Morna, but i'd still be too worried about my personal bias to try and give Kialyn and advice. Mostly i've just been telling her that i want her to be happy.

It reminds me of similar situations when i was in college, when i would try to tell the person that everything was going to be alright even though part of me wanted her to break up with her SO so that she'd be available, and another part of me felt guilty about wanting that. Except in that case there was no indication at all that she was interested in me in any way.

I'm thinking of going to boston market and getting some food. We went there for thanksgiving last year, and it was pretty good. Only thing is i don't know if they're doing anything other than pre-orders today =/
 
 
Current Mood: stressedstressed
 
 
 
Life Rebootedhopeforyou on November 25th, 2001 12:01 pm (UTC)
I do my best to think of things in light of Morna, but i'd still be too worried about my personal bias to try and give Kialyn and advice. Mostly i've just been telling her that i want her to be happy.

It reminds me of similar situations when i was in college, when i would try to tell the person that everything was going to be alright even though part of me wanted her to break up with her SO so that she'd be available, and another part of me felt guilty about wanting that.


I've had the same feeling in the past too; you're not alone. =/ Later on, though, there was a point in my life where I wished that my partner and his other partner were getting along better/not fighting and I would have been happier to know that they had a better relationship -- even if the tradeoff was that I was no longer part of the picture. Heck, I would have accepted not ever having to see that partner again even if they both did breakup, as long as I knew he was happy. Like Kialyn, it really did all come down to his happiness. But the trick it seemed (in retrospect) was balancing fulfilling his happiness with my own. It didn't seem possible in that situation.