?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
16 June 2001 @ 03:06 am
lonely  
I hate feeling left out, feeling like I'm not involved with the group.

I went to meet Deirdre at a club tonight. When I got there I found that a friend of ours who we frequently go dancing with was there, and so was a friend of Deirdre's that I hadn't seen in a long time. I used to be interested in her, but that died after awhile of her showing a total lack of interest in me.

So she had brought a guy friend along, and after awhile Deirdre showed up, and she had brought a guy friend along, and the four of them spent a lot of time hanging out together. When they weren't with the guys they brought along, they were with the other guy we knew.

I got kind of depressed by this after awhile. Deirdre and her friend did come over and talk to me for all of about two minutes at one point, which made me feel better. She said that they'd been talking and they both thought my pants looked good or something like that. Of course Deirdre's friend didn't say word one about it, she just stood there.

Despite that, I was feeling better because they'd come over and talked to me (well, they'd come over, and Deirdre had talked.) Then however everyone disapeared. I don't know what happened to them or where they went. They wandered off to a different part of the club, and I didn't want to be annoying and follow them everywhere, so I stayed in the section I was in and danced to a few more songs. When I wandered around looking for them after that I couldn't find them. The club isn't very big, it's not easy to lose someone in it if you're actively looking for them.

After two circuits of the club, I was pretty damn sure they weren't there anymore, but it was close to closing so I stuck around till then, and waited outside to see if I had just missed them, but they weren't there.

I don't know if they forgot about me, or they tried to find me and my magic invisibility shield prevented them from seeing me.

I hate feeling abandoned.

I feel lonely. I wish I could talk to Allyn right now, but she seems to be asleep.
 
 
Current Mood: melancholymelancholy