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19 May 2002 @ 08:59 pm
Stressfull weekend  


I stayed at work overnight on friday because i wanted to get home fairly early on saturday and come in late on sunday. I wanted to go to Shawkial's graduation on sunday. The fact that Vanora might show up to go to it too was an added benefit =)

I logged onto IRC about noon, hoping to find Vanora on and ask her if she was going to head over there, and if so when. Finally about 4 Shawkial showed up online, and after i asked her about it she told me that Vanora was already over there. I managed to finish up what i was working on and get everyhing checked in by 6.

I got home around seven, but i needed to take a shower obviously. By the time i got out Shawkial's mom and other sister had also shown up. I fela little uncomfortable with the extra people around, but managed to deal. We sat around and talked for a little bit, and then all went out to the Olive Garden for dinner. We needed to two cars because there was six of us, and luckily Vanora and i ended up together =)

We had to sit around for about 15 or 30 minutes to get a table. When we went in i just sat down wherever, not wanting to be obsessive or anything, and ended up on the side of the booth with shawkial and gwri. However Shawkial's other sister was going to have to sit next to Vanora, and she balked. They apparently _really_ did not get along growing up, so i was asked to switch spots with her, so i got to sit next to Vanora anyways =)

Just as we got back from dinner Morna called and said she was free for the evening and wanted to know if i was interested in getting something to eat. I was tempted by this but a: i'd just had dinner, b: vanora was still hanging around so i had the option of hanging out with her too, and c: i really don't understand how this whole flirting whatever thing works, but i strongly suspect that telling the person you're interested in that you're leaving to go hang out with another girl instead does _not_ give you bonus points.

I feel so bad about telling Morna no though. From a purely practical standpoint the chances of anything ever happening with vanora, no matter how remote they seem now, are infinitely better than the same chances with morna. I keep tellking myself that, but it doesn't stop me from caring about morna or wanting to spend time with her.

A little bit after i got off the phone shawkial's mom and other sister left to go to whatever motel they were staying at. Shawkial and Gwri and Vanora and i watched some Ceres. Maybe it was just wishfull thinking, but Vanroa seemed a little bit friendlier than normal. And since there were four of us on the couch (at least part of the time) i got to sit really close to Vanora *giggles and feels silly*

After we finished up all the DVDs i had Vanora hooked her laptop up to the tv and we watched some of the episodes she'd grabbed off the net. However i had only gotten an hour or so of sleep the night before, so after midnight i started losing bits of time. I fell asleep during the last episode, and had some big gaps in the second to last one. Unfortuantly i'm fairly good at falling asleep in any position, so i just dozed off sitting there, otherwise i could have fallen over and leaned against Vanora =)

Shawkial and Vanora decided we should quit after that episode (gee, i wonder why? =) and i got to bed just before 2 i think. Vanora actually listened to what i said this time, and when she woke up she came and knocked on my door and woke me up too =)

However she insisted that i watch the last episode of Ceres again before we watched anything else, although she came over and joined me for the second half of it. Then she decided she wanted to watch Return of the Joker (one of the Batman Beyond movies (have i mentioned that Vanora is cool =))

Shortly after that finished Shawkial's mom and her sister showed up again, and took shawkial off to go shoe shopping. (She wanted to buy some high heels so she could wear them to graduation and practice walking around in them before the wedding. Whe she wanted to practice at graduation rather than just walking around the house in them or something i can't figure out)

Right after that Shawkial and Vanora's dad and his... wife? girlfriend? whatever, showed up. I felt pretty uncomfortable then because i didn't even know these people, and what little shawkial has said has been fairly down about her father. Vanora hasn't said anything to me one way or the other. However we ahd to leave pretty soon for graduation anyway.

The graduation ceremony was nice, and very depressing. In fact, i think i'll go into that more later.

I stoped by the dorms and managed to catch my sister just an hour or so before she needed to leave for her flight home. I had no idea when she was going home (yes, i'm a bad brother =) and was just lucky that i caught her at all, although i'd suspected that since she's a junior she would have stuck around for graduation.

I'd lost track of Shawkial and Gwri and Vanora earlier, however when i got home i found that they'd beat me there. Shakial's mom and her sister had already headed home, but her dad and company were still there. Vanora was at the computer while Gwri and Shawkial were talking with her dad, so i stayed over there and talked with her some.

About 5:00 Shawkial's dad and co. were heading off, and apparently they'd offered to give Vanora a lift back since they were going through pasadena anyway =/ Would have been nice to drive Vanora back myself and spend a little more time with her alone, but i wasn't going to say anything.

I should have gone into work then, but i wanted a little time to relax and destress, so i read till about six. However as soon as i was alone (shawkial and gwri went to have a nap, not sure why they were feeling so tired) i started stressing out about work. Worrying about not havign been there while everyone else was, worrying if anything had gone wrong with my checkin, etc.

Random event of the weekend. We'd just finished watching an episode of Ceres, were had looking at the "Extras" menu. One of the extras was an interview with the artist, segmented into individual questions. One set of questions was about hot guys or what type of guys she liked or soemthing like that. Vanora said "oh look! there's one on (whatever the exact question was)" in her "i'm being silly voice" She went over to look at the computer, and I played some of the other questions. She came back and she "you haven't played the one on what kind of guys she likes!" and i told her that i had been waiting for her to get back. She responded that _i_ was supposed to watch it, because i had wanted to know what type of guys she liked, and since she hadn't answered i'd just have to listen to what kind the artist was interested in instead.

That just kind of broke my brain. I don't _remember_ asking her about what type of guys she likes. You'd think that would be a pretty memorable thing, given that - _do_ really want to know the answer. But even if it was a question i asked her several weeks ago and forgotten about (not totally unreasonable) why did _she_ remember it? Was the question so unpleasant as to burn itself into her mind? =/

So now i'm at work. Trying to figure out if when and if i want to go home tonight. 2am would probably be the very earliest, at which point the benefits of going home start quickly deteorating.