Today my cat is radioactive and i need to stay six feet away from her. Tomorrow my cat will not be radioactive at all and i don't need to take any precautions at all. I know this is true because her doctor told me so. Most radioactive substances have a half-life. Clearly for her they used a special magic radioactive substance that has a whole-life.

I wonder if it magically expires at midnight, or at sunrise, or what? If i stay up until midnight can i then let her sleep with me again? Or do i need to wait till morning? Is she more like a gremlin or a vampire? Oh! Or maybe she's like a were-kitty! Perhaps i should be checking the moonrise/set times...